Sunday, June 26, 2022
Thoughts on a Saturday Night.
Monday, June 6, 2022
Blessed are....
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. ~Matthew 5:4
No, I'm not writing about Uvalde, or any other mass shooting. No, I'm not writing about my Dad, who is now in heaven with Jesus. That's not entirely what Jesus meant when He was preaching the sermon on the mount, either. Actually, I don't think it's what he meant at all.
It's mourning for personal sin. It's mourning for sin in the church. It's mourning for sin in the world. It's mourning the way God does.
Let me backtrack. I'm doing a nine week study on the Sermon on the Mount. None of it has been easy. This has been two months of knowing, daily, how far short I fall from where God wants me to be. Personally.
Poor in Spirit - yeah, tell that to the person who is generally the smartest person in the room. I have a pride problem.
Mourning - I get mad. I like to think it's righteous anger (not nearly enough, if I'm being honest), but crying over sin in the world? Uh....
Meekness - yeah.... fail
I could keep going, but I think I made my point. The Beatitudes shine a spotlight on the ways I fall short. Tonight, while I was trying to find pictures of my just arrived great-niece Hazel on Instagram, God pummeled me with mourning.
How do I not mourn when someone I thought I knew, who I thought I could never measure up to spiritually, who lived for years in a corrupt, poverty-stricken third world country helping orphan kids, literally threw away her faith, in the most public, soul-crushing way? There was that first touch of righteous anger (or so I hoped), before my heart just broke.
The fact is, this person is not someone I follow much anymore, because several years ago I stopped paying attention to people who twisted Jesus into a pretzel to fit their world view. So when I stumbled across a confusing announcement it led me to a post she had made last year. A post in which she claimed the faith she and I had once shared was "a terrible way to live." Cringe.... and I am heartbroken.
Not for me. Her decision has no effect on my life. We don't spend time together anymore. Adulting and kids happen. But still, she was a part of my life, to some extent, because she had always been a part of it since I met my husband 30 years ago. And yet, there was God, whispering in my ear, "Blessed are those who mourn." I am mourning. I don't really know what any of this means. Did she ever really believe, or was she faking it until suddenly she decided to be true to what she really believed? But that's not my job to figure out. God knows, and while I have many many questions, they aren't for me to ask, or maybe to ever know the answer.
Mourning, by the way, was the week 4 lesson. I'm starting week 9. It took 5 weeks for God to bring that point home, but today, in the wee hours of a Monday, I am mourning, and praying.
But I want to leave this little message for anyone who thinks that the structure of Faith in Jesus is based on the idea that idea that we are so horrible that we should hate ourselves. That's not faith in Jesus. That's utter crap. Yes, the heart is wicked. Yes, without Jesus all our "righteous acts" are as filthy rags. But there's Jesus. And yes OUR sins put Him on the cross, but He did it because He LOVED us. Not a single human on this earth could do anything to Jesus that He didn't allow. Once you get the poor in spirit part (the part where you admit that in the face of God's perfect you just don't measure up), then you can choose to accept Jesus. Once that happens, once you confess your sins, He will forgive them. He gives you a new life, a new heart, and the righteous things you do for him (and not for yourself), are no longer filthy rags, but jewels in a crown. God love YOU, so much so, that He sent his Son to die, in a sacrifice that was one time, everlasting thing. Your mission is not to feel like you are never good enough, it is simply to strive every day to be a little more like Jesus, and in shining His light, give others the chance to know Him too.
"For God sent not His son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved." ~John 3:17